That it will be over and I’ll hate this. Hate me. Hate you. Hate us.”The fear was real – there was panic in his eyes. I didn’t lose my hard, but I did shift gears, pouring into him, being there for the boy that was so frightened – so fearful of his nature.“Oh baby – what’d the do to you? Fucking what did they do.”Then I kissed him. Touched his face. Cooed on him.“Just hold me, Ryan. I got you – nothing’s coming for you but me, son. Only me. Only me from here on out. Nothing’s coming through that door – nothing’s coming through me. Nothing, k**. Not a goddamn thing.”And the more I spoke the more he calmed – and then the crazy went out of his eyes. And then he was touching me, feeling me with his hands, determining my reality – making sure of my protection. Then he held me – tight. Then he held me tighter. Then he tried to crush the life out of me with his honed bulk, making me fight back against his strength, show him my ability to survive any onslaught.“Oh,” he said, almost. I had a good mate "Ivan" who worked for a radio station. One of the DJ's (I think his name was Tom) who worked with Ivan, was taking out a lady that owned a massage parlour, called "Trixie’s Sauna Parlour". About three months earlier, he had invited Ivan and I up to the parlour after they finished the evening shift at the station around 11:00pm. Massage parlours have a bad name in NZ; I guess it is the same the world around. But when we got up there, I found it to be quite tame really, and Trixie (Not her real name) who owned and ran it, was incredibly competent and well presented. She said she had chosen her name as it meant 'one who brings joy'. The parlour was upstairs above shops near the centre of the CBD and had obviously been a company’s offices before. When you got to the top of the stairs, there was a reception desk immediately in front of you and if you walked left along behind the reception you entered Trixie’s office, to the right of the reception desk was a large.
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